Random Musings

I love my family. Let it be known...I.Love.My.Family.

I've recently had a few days off so I decided to make the hour and a half trek to visit with the fam. On the evening of my arrival it was like the stars had aligned and the moon was full because there inside my living room was the whole gang, together. My mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew, and even hermit grandmother greeted me like I had gone missing and my body had just been recovered. We enjoyed a very nice BBQ by the Pops and as we all sat around afterward, the dreaded question of all single people came up. Typically it's my grandma that brings it up at every family function, but tonight it was my awkward (atheist) sister that graced me with,

"So, what's the deal with you? Are you ever going to get married?"

Glaring a subtle glare, "Maybe...if that's what God has in store for me." (Said partially because I know it's the truth, and partially because I know it would really tick my sister off).

(Out of the corner of her mouth to her husband in a hushed voice), "Yeah, because that's the way to get a man, wait around on something that's not there."

(Really too frustrated to create a productive debate in my head, I turned to my defense mechanism...sarcasm), "Besides, there's only two men I need in my life anyway. Have you met Ben and Jerry? They know how to treat a woman really well. They comfort, console, and they make one heckuva movie date."

(In sarcastic tone), "Oh that's alright sweety, you just wait around on 'god'."

(Proudly stated), "I intend to."

***

Today my mom went to the store and came home with the look on her face that says, "I just did something and I'm really proud of it."

"What's up, mom?"

"Oh nothing. I just thought I'd drop by the store and pick you up a boyfriend." (As she pulls out the newest item on the Ben and Jerry's menu: Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Cones (three to a package).) "As a matter of fact, I picked you up three." (At this point she is laughing so hard that she is snorting).

I start laughing of course at mom's attempt at being funny...because really, only my mom could have pulled that off.

So this afternoon I curled up with a cone in my favorite recliner and watched a chick flick...

...and was perfectly content.

Posted by Christi at 7/24/2006 06:05:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

...that I can pay my bills next month.

...that I am not wasting my time with "you."

...that people start reading this blog again.

...my dog doesn't die from being overweight.

...that I can find a place to live after the summer is over.

...that I can find a church to call "home."

...that my tan lines will disappear before the wedding.

...in God to answer my prayers...even if he says "no."

...that Gilmore Girls Season 6 comes out soon and that it was worth the wait.

...that I am being obedient.

...that I can find a job that not only pays the bills, but makes me happy.

...that they start making Cherry 7up in the can form.

Posted by Christi at 7/22/2006 11:57:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

PISS ME OFF!!!

Mainly because I'm one myself.


So what do I do? I blog about it and don't tell the people I am frustrated at (who are also frustrated with me) that I am actually frustrated. Because I am just as much of a passive-aggressive wimp as they are.

It's a vicious circle.

Posted by Christi at 7/22/2006 01:39:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

I'm a wimp when it comes to prayer. That's right, I'll get it out there for the whole world to see. My prayer life is weak. It's not weak in the fact that I don't pray often, but rather that I don't ever articulate to God what I'm really feeling/asking for. Generalization is the name of the game. I also don't share my prayer needs with people very often. Who knows if it is because I am shy, self-conscious, or just a little nervous to make myself vulnerable to people.

But here, today, folks...I am asking for your help! If you are the praying type, I have some big requests that I need God to take care of.

1. Come September I have no idea what I am going to be doing in order to pay the bills. I have no job lined up as of yet for when I leave camp and that is very scary to me.

2. Come September I am homeless. I don't know where I will be living, but I need to find a place in Portland so that I can do the whole Graduate school thing. Along with the place to live, please pray for a room mate to share the cost of a place to live.

3. School...please pray that I get accepted and that it is the right decision.

There's probably more to come, but these are the pressing issues as of right now.

Posted by Christi at 7/18/2006 12:57:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

Everyone has their limitations.

Unfortunately, one of my limitations revolves around one of my most beloved events...

Going to Dutch Bros.



It has been discovered that I am not as immune to caffeine as once previously thought to be. DRAT! It turns out that drinking a Dutch Freeze gives me intense euphoria along with a major case of the giggles and it keeps me awake for many hours at a time. Therefore, I had to create rule #86...

There will be no drinking of the Dutch Bros. after 4:00 in the afternoon.

Posted by Christi at 7/12/2006 12:57:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

Since I consider myself to be a movie buff/addict, I think it is fascinating when a scene from a movie actually reminds me of my own life, or vice versa. I was at work today thinking about some of the events from the last couple of weeks, and I seriously had a Jerry Maguire moment, which just happens to be one of my favorites.

Imagine with me if you will when Jerry and Dorothy are married and he is on the telephone in the back yard. She comes out, sits down, and he tells her that he has yet another business trip coming up. They have a long discussion about how things are not working and Dorothy pulls out the line, "It's my fault. I pretended that the proposal by the car was REAL, and maybe it was just hypothetical."

Enough said.

Posted by Christi at 7/10/2006 07:32:00 PM | Permalink | Comments

In an attempt to get back into the habit of writing more, I thought I would use one of my favorite writing prompts from my good friend Dayna Jean.

***Say something, anything, to any five people you'd like. Be real, be honest, be raw, but don't use names***

1. You will never fully know how much I love and cherish you. You are a my pearl among seaweed. Whatever the problem might be, you have the ability to make everything better with a simple hug/phone call/smile/sarcastic comment. I have messed up and hurt you so many times, and yet you have never judged me - EVER! Everything I go through, you understand...because you've been there too. You are the epitomy of patience and endurance for all that you've dealt with and I admire you so much for the life-changing decisions that you made later on in your life. You frustrate me so much, however, when you don't see your own self-worth. I wish that you would stand up for yourself more. But I love you, nonetheless, because you are my dearest friend, my confidant, my counselor, my joy, and my mom.
*Whoops, guess I gave away who that was about*

2. You, my dear, are one of the strongest people I know...but you never see that. If I had to deal with the amount of crap that you have been dealt in this life I would not be able to handle it with half as much grace, dignity, and faith as you have displayed. I know things suck right now. There's no other way to put it, it just sucks. Keep on keepin' on though, you're going to make it through. You have an ability to love even in the most difficult of circumstances. You know absolutely everything about me - my failures, my successes, my faults, and my every insecurity - and yet you love me still. We have done our fair share of pissing each other off and there are times that I just want to punch you in the face (and I know you've wanted to punch me in the face as well)...but no matter what it is, we always work through it. Maybe you're incredibly loud and little rough around the edges, but you are also one of the most beautiful and compassionate women I know.

3. Umm...I never expected you to come along. You weren't supposed to have this kind of effect on me. When you walked in my whole way of being and thinking got thrown for a loop - but a good one. You allowed me to be nothing more than who I really am. I never once put on a show for you, but you accepted me...quirks and all. Never have I felt the "zsa zsa zsu" for someone so quickly and strongly. I know I run the risk of scaring you with this, but you need to know the impact that you've had on me. I can only hope and pray that someday we fit into each other's plans. You are amazing. I hope you know that. May God bless all your upcoming adventures.
PS: I played the "ice cream cone" card last night, thought of you, and giggled.

4. I thank God every day for knowing what he was doing when he put the two of us together as friends. A friendship like ours can only be described as "God inspired." I miss you so much it hurts sometimes. It is my own selfishness that wants to yell at you for leaving, but I know that it was something you had to do. No one else fills me with as much hope as you do. You break down all the barriers I try to put up and you flush every last one of my insecurities down the toilet. You inspire and uplift me. I am so blessed to have you in my life. Now get your hiney back to Oregon!

5. Get over it. Move on. You are your own worst enemy. Stop dwelling on all the petty things that hold you back from all that you want to do. Be bold, you've always lacked that. Make strong decisions for once in your life - stop playing it completely safe for once. Take a chance and step out of your comfort zone. Do something that will actually make you grow instead of stay stagnant. You have so much potential to do so many things, now all you have to do is follow through.

Posted by Christi at 7/05/2006 01:41:00 PM | Permalink | Comments