Awkward Sarcasm and a True Love
I love my family. Let it be known...I.Love.My.Family.
I've recently had a few days off so I decided to make the hour and a half trek to visit with the fam. On the evening of my arrival it was like the stars had aligned and the moon was full because there inside my living room was the whole gang, together. My mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew, and even hermit grandmother greeted me like I had gone missing and my body had just been recovered. We enjoyed a very nice BBQ by the Pops and as we all sat around afterward, the dreaded question of all single people came up. Typically it's my grandma that brings it up at every family function, but tonight it was my awkward (atheist) sister that graced me with,
"So, what's the deal with you? Are you ever going to get married?"
Glaring a subtle glare, "Maybe...if that's what God has in store for me." (Said partially because I know it's the truth, and partially because I know it would really tick my sister off).
(Out of the corner of her mouth to her husband in a hushed voice), "Yeah, because that's the way to get a man, wait around on something that's not there."
(Really too frustrated to create a productive debate in my head, I turned to my defense mechanism...sarcasm), "Besides, there's only two men I need in my life anyway. Have you met Ben and Jerry? They know how to treat a woman really well. They comfort, console, and they make one heckuva movie date."
(In sarcastic tone), "Oh that's alright sweety, you just wait around on 'god'."
(Proudly stated), "I intend to."
***
Today my mom went to the store and came home with the look on her face that says, "I just did something and I'm really proud of it."
"What's up, mom?"
"Oh nothing. I just thought I'd drop by the store and pick you up a boyfriend." (As she pulls out the newest item on the Ben and Jerry's menu: Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Cones (three to a package).) "As a matter of fact, I picked you up three." (At this point she is laughing so hard that she is snorting).
I start laughing of course at mom's attempt at being funny...because really, only my mom could have pulled that off.
So this afternoon I curled up with a cone in my favorite recliner and watched a chick flick...
...and was perfectly content.
I've recently had a few days off so I decided to make the hour and a half trek to visit with the fam. On the evening of my arrival it was like the stars had aligned and the moon was full because there inside my living room was the whole gang, together. My mom, dad, sister, brother-in-law, niece, nephew, and even hermit grandmother greeted me like I had gone missing and my body had just been recovered. We enjoyed a very nice BBQ by the Pops and as we all sat around afterward, the dreaded question of all single people came up. Typically it's my grandma that brings it up at every family function, but tonight it was my awkward (atheist) sister that graced me with,
"So, what's the deal with you? Are you ever going to get married?"
Glaring a subtle glare, "Maybe...if that's what God has in store for me." (Said partially because I know it's the truth, and partially because I know it would really tick my sister off).
(Out of the corner of her mouth to her husband in a hushed voice), "Yeah, because that's the way to get a man, wait around on something that's not there."
(Really too frustrated to create a productive debate in my head, I turned to my defense mechanism...sarcasm), "Besides, there's only two men I need in my life anyway. Have you met Ben and Jerry? They know how to treat a woman really well. They comfort, console, and they make one heckuva movie date."
(In sarcastic tone), "Oh that's alright sweety, you just wait around on 'god'."
(Proudly stated), "I intend to."
***
Today my mom went to the store and came home with the look on her face that says, "I just did something and I'm really proud of it."
"What's up, mom?"
"Oh nothing. I just thought I'd drop by the store and pick you up a boyfriend." (As she pulls out the newest item on the Ben and Jerry's menu: Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream Cones (three to a package).) "As a matter of fact, I picked you up three." (At this point she is laughing so hard that she is snorting).
I start laughing of course at mom's attempt at being funny...because really, only my mom could have pulled that off.
So this afternoon I curled up with a cone in my favorite recliner and watched a chick flick...
...and was perfectly content.
Oh, the prodigal daughter returns to the blogging realm. Ok, I see you've been blogging more faithfully than my comment sounds like, but...hope life is well and that Camp Yamhill is treating you good. Drop me an email and let me know how life is going.
Posted by
Anonymous |
8/01/2006 12:14 PM
Christi, I love your sarcastic response. And really, what else can you do in that situation? It was the perfect response...and I'm so glad my sibling isn't so snotty. And I officially love your mom.
Posted by
Unknown |
8/03/2006 11:49 AM