So I was asked to give a speech at the Baccalaureate service before graduation on Saturday, April 30. My good friend Carly Hodge and I decided to tag team a speech. For your viewing pleasure, here is what the crowd heard...
THE ABC's OF WHAT WE'VE LEARNED AT CASCADE COLLEGE
Intro: We were inspired by the faculty and staff ABC chapel where the students are given appreciation, blessing and counsel from our wise elders, so we have decided to expand on the alphabet and give our version of what Cascade means to us.
A is for all nighters- pulling them frequently during freshman year and then realizing that by senior year you’re too old to do that kind of thing anymore.
B is for broomball- A good way to let out the aggression from paper writing, also a good form of entertainment as you watch Jonny B hit the ice and need to get stitches.
C is for clean check- the one day a week that you could eat steak off your bathroom floor.
D is for dumpster cats- if people would stop feeding them…maybe they would stop coming around!
E- The grade they left out of the grading scale - leaving one more step before failure.
F is for finals feast-in four years here I’ve never won a prize!!!! F is also for fountain - and the fact that they only turn them on when parents come to visit.
G is for giving speeches about water and boating safety in English Literature Survey class. It is also for Graduation- the day we never thought would come! (and the one we are sad to finally see is here)
H is for happy meals…because what college student can actually afford a real meal?
I is for initiations weekend - the smells, sights, and lack of sleep…Oh the wonder of it all!
J is for juvenile behavior, especially from the seniors
K is for kickboxing, which should be offered by Dr. E next year
L is for the last class of girls who never had to live in York.
M is for money sent from home - (so we can afford the happy meals)
N is for num-chuck skills
O is for the Oregon Shakespeare Festival- knowing that as soon as you get in the van with Dr. Tandy, you will inevitably be getting lost.
P is for pranks on professors - ask Dr. Granberg how he got a lifetime supply of toilet paper and parsing forms.
Q is for quiet hours
OR LACK THEREOF!
R is for rockin’ chapel chats-have you ever seen Dr. Lynn turn nine shades of red in a matter of about three seconds?
S is for squirrels in the courtyard -too bad we aren’t allowed to have BB guns on campus
T is for trips - trips to Applebee's, trips to Starbucks, tripping over your own feet when you walk to chapel, taking a trip to the beach at 1:30 in the morning...
U is for uninhibited laughter for no reason-(cough) Alyssa Miller (cough)
V is for vicissitude- (yes, that's right, I just said vicissitude). It means a condition of constant change or alteration. Cascade at its finest.
W is for the Welcome Back Show and Dr. Tandy not being able to control his language.
X is for x-egetical papers - you know you've all written one, and you know that you waited until the night before to write it!
Y is for yelling at the top of your lungs when finals are finally over
Z is for zoology- a major Cascade doesn’t offer, but should (preach on Docta Marler!)
Conclusion: In four years at Cascade, we have learned to drink a lot of caffeine, write excellent papers, throw a Frisbee and maintain a 3.5 gpa in the process. A special thanks to Willie Steele for teaching us all anyone ever needed to know about making PowerPoint presentations. Thanks to all of our professors, especially Kevin Woods, for putting up with us in our most immature of moments and “you’re welcome, Kevin” for putting up with you in yours.
So what do you think? Should I take up a career in public speaking? Oh, and by the way, we had an AMAZING powerpoint to go with it. It was like something you would see straight off Sesame Street.
