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Tell me a story...

So I'm on my lunch hour, sitting in Starbucks, drinking a cup of coffee which tastes burnt (like usual), and thinking to myself, "Man, right now would be a great time to blog about something." But what??? My mind is a blank. So now, it's your turn, dear reader, to write something to stimulate my mind. As Brian Simmons says, "Tell me a story." Here's your prompt...

Your postman is at the door with an unexpected package. What is your pre-opening package routine? Do you shake it first? Whats in it? Who sent it? Is it important? What will you do with it?

Whoever tells me the best story will get a surprise :)

The postman doesnt come to my door. A few years ago, our mailbox was stolen. It was in the middle of three boxes and nailed to a big-ass board. Somehow, and for some reason, someone decided to just gaffle it in the middle of the night. We decided to get a P.O. Box after that. SO if I get a package, I usually find one of those little keys in my box, that leads to a big box where they put packages. I usually give it a brief shake, a sniff, bite down on it to see if it is real gold, then... Wait. Nevermind

Usually I know if I get package, it's something that I ordered online and it's just arriving.

If I receive a suspicious package from someone that I'm not expecting, I will leave it alone and I will call up my friend Rich, who has a bomb-sniffing German Shepherd named Baas to detect explosives or other potentially harmful substances. If Baas starts going nuts and "detecting" something, I'll call the bomb squad to come and securely detonate it, along with the rest of the attached mailboxes, and wish that I had a real package.

If it turns out nothing is wrong with it, I'll cut it open with a knife.

First, I shake it real hard and wait for any gooey stuff to appear on the seams (or for it to explode, which would be unfortunate...). If all was clear, then I would use the claymore (the sharp kind, not the explodie kind) next to my door to slice open the packing tape. Then I'd take it into the front lawn and open it up, letting the wind scatter peanuts up and down my street (heck, what do I care, I'm moving...).

Whatever it is, all of South Salem High School will know the same time I will...

i usually check to see who it is from (after going to pick it up at the post office because the mailman or delivery guys don't even knock to see if we are home, they just leave a note) and try to guess what it is, slice it open with my keys and marvel at what is inside.

the last cool package i got was from sandi p. she sent me some sheets from bangladesh!

Congratulations, Tim...I'll have your surprise soon.

Shocks, pegs, lucky!

Hello:

Good ole Brian Simmons....wow...and Tim Lewis as well.......

I'll be checking your blog now and again, gotta tune in to anyone who went to Cascade..

-Clarke

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